Pairing: Bertie/Jeeves, Bertie/Rocky implied
Summary: The boys have it out, then they have at it.
Disclaimer: Not mine, and no offense meant to PG Wodehouse, Stephen Fry, or Hugh Laurie.
Warnings: graphic, slightly uncomfortable kitchen sex and discussion of infidelity, in case that needs a warning
A/N: I know it's a little later than I would have liked, but the sex scene just wouldn't quit. I kept going back and adding things, because I really wanted to hear theempress14 say them in her Jeeves voice. After this, she'll be sorry she asked me to write her anything. ;) The beginning dialog is taken from the episode "Bertie Sets Sail." Thanks, as always, go to the best beta in the world, crowson75 for adding my U's and taming my 'posish'es. *hugs*
All was quiet as I pushed open the door of the New York flat later that day. I peered around the edge, looking out for small, furry menaces with sharp teeth. "Jeeves?" I called.
"Good morning, sir."
"Where is that blasted dog, Jeeves? Have you got him tied up?"
"The animal is no longer here, sir. Lord Pershore gave him to the porter, sir, who sold him." Well, that was a relief. With the four-legged devil out of the way, I could muster all the Wooster courage to deal with more important matters, namely that of begging Jeeves's forgiveness for accidentally getting fruity with Rocky Todd the night before. I made my way into the flat and, as soon as the door shut behind me, Jeeves suddenly manifested himself at my side and leaned down for our customary 'welcome home' bit of tongue action.
"Ah!" I cried and jumped backward, crashing into the wall behind me. Jeeves straightened and raised one perfect ebony eyebrow at me.
"Oh, sorry, old thing," I babbled. "Long journey and all that. I'm afraid you rather startled me a bit." I strained the old melon to come up with a plausible excuse for my avoidance of Jeeves's excellent lips. I couldn't tell the man that I hadn't cleaned my teeth since this morning and I was afraid he'd be able to taste another man in my mouth, after all. Casting my eyes about the flat, I spotted the door to the guest room and inspiration struck. "Lord Pershore isn't about, is he, Jeeves? Wouldn't want that pill to get an eyeful of the two of us in a compromising posish, what?"
Jeeves stared hard at me while I wriggled under his gaze like a worm on one of his fishing hooks. His nose twitched delicately, like a reserved bunny rabbit. "No, sir," he said slowly. "Lord Pershore is not at home. He is--"
"Right-ho! In that case, I think I'll take a bath, Jeeves. Shake the dust from my heels and whatnot." And with that, I fled the room. So much for the Wooster courage.
As I was disrobing in the master bedroom, Jeeves glided into the chamber. He was as silent as always, but I could bally well feel the disapproval emanating from him in waves.
"I have started the water for your bath, sir," he said in a tone that could have frozen said water at ten paces.
"Ah, thank you, Jeeves." I discarded my shirt and laid it across the bed. "A bit of the warm and bubbly sounds absolutely spiffing after such a long trip."
"Indeed, sir. You must be exhausted after traveling to Mr. Todd's residence and back in little more than twenty-four hours."
This was tricky ground, indeed. A light tread was necessary. "Yes, it was a was a lot of travel in a short time. I suppose you're wondering why I'm home so early, eh, Jeeves?" I kept my eyes firmly on my trousers as I pushed them down and off my legs.
"The question had crossed my mind, sir, yes."
By Jeeves's tone, I could tell the answer to that question had already flitted across his fish-fed brain, as well. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to confess, but Jeeves interrupted me.
"I trust you left Mr. Todd in good spirits, sir."
I dropped the last of my clothing and pulled my dressing gown around me before turning to face the music, as they say. Jeeves's cheeks were flushed slightly and his eyes were resolutely on the ceiling. His stuffed frog look was the stuffiest I'd ever seen it.
"Jeeves," I began then faltered. I'd had the entire journey home to prepare this speech, but after hours of wracking the Wooster brain, I had been unable to find the right words. How does one convey the depth of regret and remorse I felt? It seemed like the proper words for it didn't even exist. I decided to shut off the mind and go with the heart. "You know, don't you, old thing, that I love you most awfully?" I crossed the room to him and placed a hand over his heart.
This statement seemed to pain Jeeves. He frowned severely and gripped my wrist between two fingers, plucking it away from his body. "Perhaps it would be best to continue this conversation after your bath, sir." He dropped my hand and turned to leave. At the door, he paused. Without looking at me, he said quietly, "When you no longer smell of sex and Mr. Todd's aftershave." And then he was gone.
Now, the Wooster person has been assaulted on several occasions. I have been slapped by offended fillies, socked by enraged suitors, and even dropped out a window once by a rather irate oil tycoon, but none of those previous injuries hurt like that soft statement. I felt wounded to the heart, and it only made the sting worse that it was all my own fault. With tears in my eyes, I dashed to the bathroom.
I bathed in record time, in no mood to splash about with the rubber ducky or sing a sprightly tune while I luxuriated in the hot water. I scrubbed until my skin glowed pink, then jumped out to have a quick once over with a towel. I slipped on my dressing gown again, made use of my toothbrush, and then cautiously opened the bathroom door. Jeeves was nowhere to be found, so I crept out, dreading the coming conversation.
A knock at the door of Jeeves's lair went unanswered. If he wasn't ensconced in his bedroom, there was only one other place a disgruntled Jeeves would be. I found him furiously washing a tea set in the kitchen sink.
"Sir." He didn't turn to look at me.
I fidgeted with the belt on my d. g. and swallowed the bally big lump that suddenly developed in my throat. "I meant what I said before, Jeeves. I do love you, you know."
"So you say, sir."
"Dash it, man, you know I do!"
The teapot in Jeeves's hands dropped back into the washing-up water with a splash. The man leaned heavily on his hands, his fingers gripping the edge of the sink until his knuckles were as white as his suddenly pale face. "Then please explain to me, sir," he said with quite a bit of venom in his voice, "why you came home to me reeking of someone else."
"Well, er, Jeeves, you see...." Words failed me again, dash it. Jeeves waited and I fidgeted. He waited some more. I fidgeted some more. Finally, the words just burst out of me. "I don't know how it happened, Jeeves, you must believe me! We had cocktails with dinner -- Rocky makes a fine martini for a country bird -- maybe too many. That's no excuse, I know. Don't look at me like that, I do know. But then I was in bed, all snug and missing you like billy-o. I was just about to, er, you know that thing you do with your hand? All twisty-strokey that makes me...? Well, you know. I was about to give myself a bit of that treatment, when Rocky crashed the party, so to speak. He jumped into bed with me, the bally rude blighter, and I said no, Jeeves. Rather emphatically, in fact, but he wouldn't hear of it. Those blasted Americans, what?"
Jeeves's sharp eyes narrowed. One moment, he was leaning on the sink, the very picture of a wronged lover, and the next, he was gripping my shoulders tightly, his concerned face just inches from my own. "Did he hurt you, sir?" Jeeves asked very carefully, his eyes all over the Wooster map, searching for Lord knows what.
"Hurt me, Jeeves? Golly, no. No, I'm fine."
"But you refused his advances, and he persisted?"
"Turned him down like a bedspread. Well, the first few times, I did. After he asked me to, er, do the honours, if you understand me, I got a bit muddled."
The hands fell from my shoulders, leaving wet imprints on my dressing gown. The stuffed frog look was back.
"You... penetrated Mr. Todd?"
Now, I had been getting fruity with my valet for quite some time. I had seen every inch of the man from various different angles and done things with him that would make my Aunt Agatha's hair fall out if she were to ever get a mere inkling of the kind of naked acrobatics we get up to. However, hearing my man use words like 'penetrate' still makes me blush like a schoolgirl receiving her first kiss on the cheek. My face flamed to roughly the colour of well-cooked lobster and my gaze fell to the floor.
"No, Jeeves, I didn't. He wanted me to, though, and, truth be told, I wanted to as well. Well, if he were you, I mean. What I mean to say, Jeeves, is that if it had been you under me, writhing and moaning like an aroused snake.... Do snakes moan, Jeeves?"
"Not to my knowledge, sir."
"Well, you get the picture. If it had been you, instead of old Rocky, I would have. But it wasn't, so I didn't. I just sort of.... Do you remember, Jeeves, that time in the two-seater? When we pulled off the road on the way to Aunt Dahlia's for Christmas last year, and it was too cold to undress properly? It was a bit like that, only less so and with no sharp automobile bits poking my back. Or, rather, Rocky's back. I made a bloody mess of my favourite heliotrope pyjamas."
Jeeves's expression softened a bit at that. In a matter of seconds, his beloved face went from worried anger to resigned sadness, by which I mean his eyebrows relaxed a quarter of an inch and his frown lessened fractionally. "Oh, sir," he sighed heavily. One of his large, capable hands started to move toward my face before he caught himself. With a "Pardon me, sir," he wiped his damp hands on a tea towel then applied those l. c. hands to my still-rosy cheeks. "What happened next, sir?"
"Next? I waited for sunlight, then legged it home to tell you what had happened. I had hoped -- and still do, really -- that if I confessed all, you wouldn't murder me in my sleep. Or, worse, leave my service. You aren't going to leave me, are you, Jeeves?"
A soft kiss landed on my forehead, then Jeeves wrapped me in his strong arms. "No, sir," he murmured into my shell-like ear. "I am not going to leave you."
I snuggled into the man's broad chest, relieved beyond words that I hadn't lost Jeeves completely. "I am sorry, old thing. I was weak. I go on about the Wooster courage and the Battle of Agincourt and all that, but when I needed a bit of backbone, it failed me."
"I understand, sir," Jeeves said to the top of my bean. "And I forgive you."
Raising my head, I looked into his eyes and was surprised to find them as misty as my own had become. "Really, Jeeves? Do you?"
Instead of answering, Jeeves lowered his lips to my own and kissed me very gently, which, I suppose, was a kind of answer.
The next few minutes are somewhat of a blissful blur in the old memory. That happens sometimes when Jeeves applies his lips to the young master. I'm fairly sure it was Jeeves who deepened the kiss, his tongue entering and conquering my mouth like that Great chappie steaming through Persia. I suspect I moaned a fairish amount and probably clutched at his shirtsleeves, as I'm wont to do when Jeeves is plundering the oral cavity. There may even have been some manly whimpering on my part. I know there were fingers tugging at belts, for my next clear memory is that of my dressing gown hitting the floor and leaving me standing naked and still slightly damp in the middle of our kitchen.
Jeeves eyed the Wooster frame with no little hunger. "I cannot tell you, sir, how relieved I am that you did not share your body with him fully. It may be selfish of me, but I wish for you to be mine and only mine."
"I am, Jeeves. I am."
With a bit of a groan, Jeeves leaned in for another round of battling tongues. While our mouths were occupied, he slid his strong hands over every inch of me he could reach, while I used my fingers to muss his perfectly brilliatined hair. Only moments later, Jeeves's hands slid over my rump and hooked themselves around the backs of my thighs. "Please," he said around my bottom lip and pulled me upward slightly. I 'Right-ho'd and gave a little hop, wrapping my pins securely around Jeeves's waist. In only two strides, the man carried me across the room and deposited my naked rump onto the countertop, all without dislodging his tongue from my tonsils. Jeeves truly is a marvel.
It was completely unsporting that I was bared for the world and Jeeves to see whilst my valet remained firmly wrapped in his uniform. Therefore, I began unbuttoning with all due haste.
"Jeeves," I murmured as I slid his tie from around his throat and set to work removing his shirt. "Make love to me. Right here. Please."
I expected Jeeves to kick at the prospect of intimate relations on the same surface that he uses to prepare our meals, as he usually frowns upon such unsanitary acts around food. However, Jeeves's hips jerked forward and acquainted themselves rather familiarly with my own and no protest issued from his otherwise engaged lips. I could feel him against me, burning the skin of my lower belly through black wool, and the little Wooster bally well throbbed. I moaned in what I fear was quite a wanton way. However, when one has an aroused Jeeves between one's thighs and nibbling on one's earlobe, modesty be damned.
"Oh, please, Jeeves!" I cried. "Don't make me wait!"
"I will have you now, sir," Jeeves assured me. "I must."
"Carry on, then, Jeeves, and put some speed on."
"Very good, si-uhh." The honorific abruptly turned into a drawn-out groan as I grabbed Jeeves through his trousers. Jeeves bit forcefully at my neck, then pulled away slightly to reach up and fumble about in a cabinet over my head. It was a testament to how far gone he was. The man never fumbles for anything.
After several clinks and clanks, the man held a bottle of greenish oil in his hand. The sight did things to my nether regions that would be impolite to recount here. Suffice it to say that certain parts of my anatomy clenched while other parts twitched. "Oh, yes, Jeeves, yes, please," I begged. I squeezed the part of him I still held in my hand, and Jeeves nearly dropped the bottle.
Breathing heavily, Jeeves ground out, "If you don't stop that, sir, I'm afraid I won't last until I can be inside you."
I laughed airily. "I have faith in you, Jeeves." Though I had managed to unbutton his starched white shirt, it still hung from Jeeves's massive shoulders. I let go of his person and dug my fingers underneath the cloth and into his marvelously soft skin, pulling him down to meet me in another deep kiss. As our tongues slid together, I heard Jeeves uncork the bottle then felt his slippery digits around my eager and swollen flesh. I hissed and wriggled delightedly under him, as said s. f. became as rigid as it had ever been with my wanting of him.
Jeeves favoured me with a few strokes from his talented hand, then slipped that t. h. down past my family jewels and to the aforementioned clenched anatomical portion. With a gentleness that seemed incongruisomething to his frenzied state, Jeeves tried to insert one long finger into my body. The posish I was currently in, however, made that dashed difficult. His fingertip brushed against my orifice, coating my skin with the oil, but was unable to work itself inside me.
With a sound that could legitimately be labeled a growl, Jeeves took a small step backwards, parting our mouths and causing a whimper of loss from yours truly. "Bertram," he continued to growl, and I shivered at the use of my given name. "You will have to...." His voice trailed off as his eyes raked down my body and settled on my member, now glistening with the oil from his hand. He gave a funny sort of strangled sound, then lunged forward, taking the tip of me into his mouth.
B. W. Wooster has never been a particularly vocal lover, not even on those occasions when Jeeves has teased and played with me until all I can do is beg him over and over for release from his heavenly torture, but I am not ashamed to admit that, here, I screamed. Rather loudly, in fact. Jeeves took this as a sign to continue, brilliant man that he is, and took more of me into his mouth, adding a touch of teeth and suction to his actions. I dug my fingers into his soft hair and cried out, "Oh, Jeeves! Please, yes! Don't stop!"
This, of course, is when Jeeves stopped, blast it. He withdrew his mouth and, unheeding of my cries for more of that delicious mouth on me, took possession of my hipbones, pulling me forward on the countertop until my posterior was hanging slightly over the edge. With flattering haste, he pushed me backward until my shoulders rested against the wall and lifted my legs until my calves rested on his massive shoulders. This left me wide open for invading fingers, and Jeeves quickly inserted two inside me. I had to grab the counter's edge to keep from grabbing myself and bringing our relations to a premature end.
Having any part of Jeeves inside me like that only makes me want more of him, and I wasted no time in letting him know my desires. "More, Jeeves, now! I must have more!"
Jeeves's dark eyes burned with passionate fire. "More of what, Bertie? What do you need?" The rogue knew, of course, what I wanted. His free hand dropped to his flies and soon had himself free of confining black wool. My mouth watered at the sight of his arousal poking out through the vee of his opened trousers, standing proud and dripping with lust. "I want to hear you say it," he practically moaned as he oiled his length.
I knew then that Jeeves wanted me to use one of those bawdy words that make me blush so. He does love to see the rosy hue upon my cheek. I screwed up my courage and picked out an especially naughty one for him. "Your prick. I need your prick inside me." Though I was undoubtedly flushed already from our current activities, I could feel my face heat even more. In for a penny, in for a pound, I thought, and gave him another. "Put it in me and bugger me, Jeeves."
The words had the desired effect. Panting slightly, Jeeves replaced fingers with prick, and the feel of him pushing into me nearly sent me over the peak. For the next few minutes, the only word I could say was his name. Jeeves had no such difficulty.
"I love the way your body feels around mine, sir," he gasped as he started moving within me slowly. "I love your body and your mind and your kind heart. I love that you love me so freely, even when I cannot give you what you want. Oh, yes, Bertie, you are exquisite." He broke off to kiss my left knee fervently and started to thrust with purpose against my hindquarters.
When Jeeves really throws himself into a thing, the result is rarely anything less than spectacular. Physical intimacy is no exception. His wool-clad hips shifted slightly, and the next movement inward struck that spot inside me that causes sparks to flare behind my eyes. I shouted wordlessly and tossed my head like a stallion eager for a gallop. It was impossible to move, pinned as I was to the countertop by Jeeves's hips pounding into me, so I clenched around him as tightly as I could and pleaded for a bit of wrist action. "Touch me, Jeeves! Please, my love, make me.... Oh, please, make me!"
Apparently past the point of teasing, Jeeves took me into his hand. With only three deft strokes, Jeeves had me fountaining my release all over my belly. I burbled, shouted, thrashed, and felt generally oojah-cum-spiff as he drew out the throes of ecstasy by pumping me harder with both hand and hips.
Eventually, I lay on the counter, limp as a de-boned fish. Jeeves released my spent member and swiped a hand through the mess on my tum, bringing it to his tongue for a taste. He shuddered violently then clutched tightly at my billowy portions. In two more powerful lunges, Jeeves found his own climax, bellowing "Bertie! Oh, sir, my love!" to the ceiling.
He shuddered over me for a long time. I pet his mussed hair and whispered words of love and devotion to him as he calmed. Finally, Jeeves let out a breath and gave me rather a soppy smile, much like Gussie Finknottle gives to Madeleine Bassett when she indulges him in his prattle about newt mating dances.
"That was incredible, sir," Jeeves said before placing a kiss to my sweaty brow.
"Quite," I agreed. "But, er, Jeeves, if you wouldn't mind...?" I kicked my legs about his ears a bit to let him know I would appreciate a more vertical stance.
"Hmm," Jeeves hummed. He stroked over my sides and around to my back, which was beginning to complain about being contorted in such a fashion. "Just a moment more, sir, please." He moved inside me again with small thrusts, barely moving those bloody marvelous hips of his. Leaning down, he placed languid kisses to my chest, which felt so dashed pleasant that I ignored the twinges being bent almost double caused. For about thirty seconds.
"I say, Jeeves. I really must move now or I may be crippled for life."
Jeeves sighed regretfully. "Of course, sir." He straightened and pulled himself from me, then helped me ease my pins back to the floor. As I stood, Jeeves's fluid escaped me and ran down my leg. I flushed once again. Jeeves was unfazed. Immaculate once more, he took me into his arms, pulling me against his side, heedless of the mess across my belly. "I love to see you thus, Bertie. You look completely debauched. It suits you well."
I snuggled deeper into his arms. "Thank you, old thing."
We stood quietly for a few moments, basking in the afterwhatsit, until Jeeves broke the silence. "I know you wish to make love to me as I have just done to you, sir. It is a natural desire to possess one's lover in such a way. However, I do not know if I will ever be able to allow it."
I frowned and stepped away from my man, bending to retrieve my fallen dressing gown. As I tied it once again around my waist, I asked, "Do you mind if I ask why, Jeeves? I think it's only sporting that you give it a go at least once, what?"
"I do not mind you asking, sir. You may have noticed that I maintain a certain level of control over myself and my life at all times, even during our intimate relations."
"Yes, I have noticed that," I said with a smirk. "Sometimes I feel as if you control the very universe, Jeeves, with all the plans that wonderful brain of yours comes up with."
Jeeves smiled faintly. "Not quite, sir." He kissed my temple and wrapped his arms once again around my shoulders. "There have been times in my life, especially when I was a young boy, when control over my fate and my person was vitally important to me. These habits have carried over to my adult life and shaped who I am today. I know no other way of life."
"Do you mean, Jeeves, that you can't reverse our positions because you don't know how to allow it?"
"In essence, yes, sir."
"But that's deuced silly, Jeeves! All you have to do is lay back and let me do all the work!"
"Precisely, sir. The idea of allowing you to take charge of our lovemaking is not altogether a pleasant one for me. It... scares me, sir."
I stared at him, agog as two gogs. "Jeeves! Don't you trust me? I'd never hurt you, my dear man."
Jeeves closed his eyes briefly, looking ashamed. "I do trust you. It is not the loss of control to you that troubles me. It is the loss of control itself." I must have looked unconvinced because Jeeves continued. "I love you, sir. Most passionately. I have never allowed anyone as much dominion over me as you currently have. I fear, though, that I have given as much of myself to you as I possibly can. If you feel that it is not enough, I would understand if you found what you needed in another's arms. I would ask, though, sir, that you inform me of any such liaison beforehand. It would lessen the pain if I were able to adequately prepare myself for the heartbreak."
The look on Jeeves's face was one of misery, if the wrinkled forehead and down turned mouth were any indication. Jeeves should never look miserable. I placed a hand on the man's damask cheek and forced him to look into my eyes. "I love you, darling man," I said forcefully. "If you cannot allow me into your body, then so be it, but I will not go seeking that act elsewhere." Jeeves made a protesting noise. "No, no. You never have to worry about me fleeing to the arms of Rocky Todd or any other cove. I promise you that, Jeeves."
"Thank you, sir." The relief on Jeeves's face was flattering.
"But." I held up a finger under Jeeves's gorgeously crooked nose. "But I insist that you allow me to work on breaking that control of yours. You have nothing to fear from me, Jeeves, and I want you to be able to relax around the young master. I want to prove to you that you don't always have to be the one taking care of everything. I can take care, too, Jeeves. Of you, I mean. Do you agree?"
Jeeves paused for a thoughtful minute. Finally, he bowed his head slightly. "I agree to try, sir," he said quietly.
The smile that put on my face was so wide that it nearly split the old bean in two. "Wonderful, Jeeves! We shall start tomorrow. Right now, I feel another bath is in order. You've made me rather sticky. After that, perhaps a nap. Then, I think I should like you to...." I flushed and trailed off. Jeeves quirked an eyebrow in question. "Ah, er... bugger me again?" I didn't mean for it to come out as a question, but Jeeves nodded his assent, anyway.
"I think I can arrange that to your satisfaction, sir."